War on Productivity!

Dear Editor,

Oh joy – our ever-vigilant MP Sarah Russell is at it again, bravely championing the DadShift crusade for longer, "properly paid" paternity leave. Because clearly what Britain's economy needs right now is yet another generous dollop of extra costs slapped onto businesses, just as families are clinging on through yet another round of price rises.


In her own words: "Dads and partners should be able to take longer, properly paid leave when a child is born." How progressive! How compassionate! And how delightfully oblivious to the tiny detail that someone has to pay for it. Spoiler: it won't be coming out of thin air or the magic money tree. Employers will foot a hefty chunk of the bill – higher payroll costs, cover for absent staff, training temps – all of which will, surprise surprise, get quietly passed on in higher prices for everything from your weekly shop to your morning coffee.


Meanwhile, that "properly paid" bit? Currently statutory paternity pay limps along at around £194 a week from April 2026 (or 90% of earnings if lower – hardly a king's ransom). Anything meaningfully higher would crank up wage pressures too, as firms scramble to attract and retain staff in an even tighter labour market. More inflation, slower growth, reduced competitiveness – but hey, at least dads get a slightly longer cuddle with the newborn before the bills start piling higher.


Ms. Russell proudly chairs the Family Friendly & Flexible Work All Party Parliamentary Group and meets regularly with groups like DadShift, beaming about how this will "support families from day one." Noble stuff. Shame it conveniently ignores how these well-meaning burdens make life more expensive for the very same families she claims to help.


Once again, our MP battles valiantly to reduce national productivity, one heartfelt photo-op at a time. Perhaps next week she'll propose mandatory paid sabbaticals for goldfish bereavement – that should really turbo-charge GDP.


Yours in weary disbelief,

Andy Large

Alsager




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